Rhonda from Rhode Island

Rhonda from Rhode Island

"It took only ONE 40 min. tapping session with your self-acceptance video to lift an unbearable pain I thought I'd have to live with for life." Click to Read More

The Key to Self-Acceptance

Life is a lot easier when you aren't beating yourself up all the time. If you like yourself, trust yourself, and have confidence in yourself, then others will like you, trust you, and have confidence in you too.

Most people's feelings towards themselves vary throughout the day. We all make mistakes, and we all let ourselves down from time to time. But some people are harsher on themselves than others. Some people hate themselves even when there doesn't seem to be a good reason on a particular day. Did you ever wonder why?

We often look at the people around us in our lives and compare ourselves to them. Some of them earn more money, or have a more attractive partner or are more proud of their children. You might think that we develop negative feeling towards ourselves as a result of these judgements. This is true, to a certain extent.

Consider for a moment though, that sometimes the feeling comes first. What if we already had the feeling, and it guided our thoughts? Maybe the feeling comes almost out of nowhere, and we backwards rationalise that feeling by literally making up reasons to fit it.

If that were the case, no matter how much we try to think differently, the feeling will still be there, forcing our thoughts into a particular corner. That would make it very slow or almost impossible to change. If you have persistent negative feelings about yourself, this might be your experience.

The key is to understand where the feeling really comes from.

The truth is we simply learned how to feel that way about ourselves one day, from one time, one event - and it got stuck in our system. We had an intense emotional experience, where other people, or the situation, or just our own thoughts at the time, led us to feel a certain way. So we associated that feeling with a part of us, and began to identify with it.

If you think about the strongest negative feeling that you have day-to-day about yourself, you might remember a time when you didn't feel that way. You might be able to pin down the day when you first starting feeling that feeling towards yourself. Next time when you feel that feeling, and you rationalise it with reasons out of the present moment, it should be easier to see that actually, you just learned to feel that way as a result of one event that could be decades in the past.

Knowing about the memory is one thing, but often that isn't enough to allow you to grow beyond it. Tapping is one way to successfully let go of past memories and integrate the experiences into your rational mind.

Free 'Tapping Points Summary' Cheatsheet

When you subscribe to our Tapping Tips Newsletter


Featured Articles

Why You Must First Love Yourself

Everyone has heard that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The reason for this is simple - our ideal partner is a reflection of us.

Choosing a Good Therapist

I often find I have to try a couple of therapists in each therapy before I find one I like. Here are some pointers on how to know when you have found a good therapist, whatever the therapy, and some tips to find them first time.

Tired and Hungry

Ever feel tired or hungry even though you just ate and had plenty of sleep? Let me tell you about a little trick your body sometimes plays on you - let me introduce you to FakeTired and FakeHungry.