Rachel T, Bristol
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When Positive Thinking Doesn't Work
Nothing gets blasted more in the self-improvement industry than 'Positive Thinking'. The cynical among us are quick to point out that just believing in something doesn't make it true, and even the most optimistic optimist will concede that they don't always take Positive Action based on their thinking.
Put simply, the reason positive thinking doesn't work, is because people's positive thoughts don't always go all the way down. That is, underneath their shiny veneer of positive affirmations, their real beliefs are a swirling cesspool of negativity. Even one persistent negative thought is enough to disrupt the congruency with which your positive thoughts affect your behaviour.
Positive Thinking never achieved anything on it's own anyway. Positive Action is what you need, and you can't have that without Positive Thinking. But it's at the point of Positive Action that Positive Thinking starts to fail.
That's because the action exposes the negative belief. Taking action forces you to swim through the swirling cesspool. So Positive Thinking only becomes effective when you also get rid of all your conflicting beliefs. You must drain the cesspool, at least until you can comfortably wade through it.
If you can totally focus on your goal and your positive thoughts, it is possible to battle through all your negative beliefs. This is how most people live their lives. But it's REALLY hard work! That's because negative beliefs are really negative thoughts attached to negative feelings. So when you push through the belief, you take action that conflicts with the thought, and that brings up the feeling. Working through things like this because incredibly draining, and the negative feelings don't tend to really change, so they are there next time you do the same thing.
As always, Tapping makes it a hell of a lot easier. If, when you take action, you look for the negative feelings that come up, and tap them away, the negative thoughts vanish. You realise that the thoughts didn't come from the reality of the situation, they were just your mind's way of rationalising the feeling.
When you take the time to identify all the negative thoughts and feelings that conflict with your Positive Thinking, and Tap them away, holding onto the positive worldview becomes effortless, and taking Positive Action - the real key to success in anything - becomes automatic.
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Life is a lot easier when you aren't beating yourself up all the time. If you like yourself, trust yourself, and have confidence in yourself, then others will like you, trust you, and have confidence in you too.
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